Twit who bought Tweeter shares tweets

In a case of investor mix-up, a twit bought shares of Tweeter and then proudly tweeted that he was one of the owners of Twitter. It was the ticker that tricked the poor twit, having bought TWTRQ where Q clearly stands for questionable judgement. Having failed to take a cue from the Q, he followed up by sharing a tweet expected of a twit:

Bought twitter shares even before it is being traded @Buffet watch out! #kingofstockmarket

His tweets were virally re-tweeted, with the twit getting his share of Twitter fame. He finally owned a share of twitter, limited though it was by the number of characters. Over-sharing does come with its share of benefits. When his 140-characters of fame was up, the twit took stock of his life and his stock portfolio. One of these two companies has a hugely inflated valuation and the other one is Twitter he concluded.

The twit managed to sell some of the Tweeter shares to re-twits, who hadn’t seemed to have gotten the re-tweets of the mistaken identity. The sale to the re-twits continued till the Financial Industry Regulatory Authority stepped in. The twit tweeted away his sorrow and ultimately made his peace with his share of re-tweets and the remaining shares of Tweeter that he was left with.
Elsewhere in a bizarre universe parallel universe – the anti-twitterverse universe, everybody was excited about the IPO of a retailer that sold tangible goods with a proven business model. In the fervour of its IPO, the stock of an obscure company that allows users to broadcast 140 characters into oblivion for free, was up by 2200%. The twit who bought twitter, fortunately suffered his indignity in private.

In the meanwhile, earnest analysts were taking stock of the same problem that the twit had mulled over and were trying to figure out the valuation of Twitter. There were some whispers of the viability of a business model where for all the Big Data that the users pass on to Big Brother, they will be rewarded with pesky promoted tweets urging you to buy stuff just because some algorithms are utterly convinced that you need the stuff in question.

Twitter is a celebrity/politician gaffe machine spewing pithy mis-judgements at regular intervals much to the delight of the twitterverse. The broader mainstream media is then inclined to meekly re-tweet these gaffes to a wider audience, drawing in more users to Twitter as people wish to stay abreast of the latest gaffes in tweet time. Mix these gaffe streams with pithy ads and you have a revenue stream. One analyst remarked, “Twitter has an ingenious business model of monetizing misjudgements”. Given human foibles and the questionable judgement of many twits, you can expect twitter to be a very profitable company. The analyst cited a stupendously large number that was not limited to 140 characters as the valuation of Twitter based on the cash flows from the collective gaffe streams of all the twits in the world, including and especially the ones that purchased the shares of Tweeter.

This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Twit who bought Tweeter shares tweets

  1. sumit menaria says:

    How do you think of such things…Amazing..Have read almost all your columns!!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s